this evening i had the sad task of saying farewell to two of my closest comrades. it's a real end of an era, as these two special friends have been such an integral part of my life during the past years. one of them has shown me what true beauty looks like. the other has shown me courage and humor. both of them have blessed me beyond belief.

i've never met two people who are more inclusive, who delight so deeply in sharing their love with everyone in their midst. in a dark place for me, it was these two kids who came barging in with candles and  torches to light the place up. they let me confess, examine, complain, cry, trash talk, question, and agonize over and over. how they didn't get so sick of me i'll never know. but quite the contrary, they embraced my suffering and walked alongside me, lifted me up with prayers and laughter.  they made sure my bucket was filled to the brim with encouragement and affirmation. and they did it together. so many endless conversations about the intricacies of this crazy life, about beauty and truth, about brokenness and redemption - their precious companionship means to me more than i could ever express with words. being given a sense of belonging - having friends as a couple who would allow me to become the definition of third wheel, it just puts such a smile on my face. who else would let some crazy girl jump in on a road trip to niagara or hang around on valentine's day, seriously?

i know that as they begin this new, so very exciting journey together, they will continue this outpouring of blessing and love. and that makes me very glad. but the selfish parts of me want to keep them forever! they are so, so wonderful. i can't say it enough. i am so blessed!

whew. whirlwind.

all of the ways that i am so backwards and he still fills my life to the brim with blessing and love, grace and beauty.

bestowing upon me so many breathtaking moments, like fireworks and lightning, lapping water and the stars coming out, all in the midst of life-giving conversations.

like every little piece going from fuzzy to in-focus, falling, crashing into place, perfectly put together for me to dive into. perfectly ordained.

like resting beneath the city's noises, its hanging lights and encompassing sustainability, supporting things that are everlasting, with company that is everlasting - the most comfortable, beautiful, inspiring company i know.

like being given tasks and responsibilities i know i cannot accomplish with my own means, but through him, through his presence, i have faith.

like free falling into the depths of grace.

and the ways that words don't do any of these justice.

and it's home, home.

happy to have been present during the past few weeks. happy to be here again, and to be present here.

commence a whirlwind year!