tonight i was so restless, nothing would calm me. i took a long drive on borrowed gas. i turned the music off, my thoughts and i drove down dark, curvy roads listening to nothing but the hum of my car. eventually along my drive, i came upon a million trash bags piled on top of each other that took me to a place i was half convinced i'd never see again. it felt right and even though i know it isn't, i know that's what right feels like and i know i've never felt that anyplace else. i guess sometimes wrong can be right, even when it's so wrong and messed up it hurts to think about. and i don't know where i'm going. but i know it's not anywhere easy or convenient or predictable. and it's not forced.