tonight i realized that i daily hide behind shame
unwilling to truly release history.
and in turn, am taking away the power of christ in my life, the profound ways that he's changed me.
because i take his love for granted.
because i don't truly believe it's the way he says it is.
because i can't just own up to myself.

but i am who i am, and these paths i've taken, no matter how broken down or beaten they were, still got me to this place. it may not be as pretty as your story is, you may doubt that i'm even here at all. but i'm here. i know it without a doubt. and i'm aligning myself with him in ways i've never done before. ever realizing my constant need for him to be on my mind, my lips, my heart. and gosh, i'm broken. but i'm alive in him which means the story isn't over yet. no, the story isn't over yet.