everything we put ourselves into should be for the discovery of the kingdom.
- an idea taken from night trains in thailand, beautiful. as i remember, i ask: is everything i do, seek, emulate - for the discovery of the kingdom? for the relevation of christ's love? is it for others, to display god's glory? hardly. most things are self-seeking, self-glorifying, for my own gain, for what i feel i need to do to be more interesting, more attractive, more in love with myself. it's disgusting, how many things i do/say/think out of love for myself.

that dying to yourself thing has taken me on much deeper of a journey than i ever realized when i first heard it four years ago. obviously i need to make it go deeper. much, much deeper.