i went on a bike ride today. it was...unexplainably wonderful.

all of the crazy thoughts that run through my head, all of the distractions, the wanderings, the uncertainties and anxieties - it's overwhelming when the content of my thoughts are actually brought to my attention. the places of my mind begin to resemble a cluttered room, so when i search for something with purpose, i just end up tripping over all the junk on the floor or getting lost in something else. i weave through memories and scenarios and come across things that stop me from getting to where i actually want to me. noise. it just feels like a whole lot of noise.

i ride my bike, most of all, because it makes me feel free. it makes me feel free and connected to beauty and truth. i enjoy it because it pushes me to work harder. to discipline myself, to keep going even when it's hard. a large part of me constantly hopes this pushing myself will spill over into other areas of my life in which discipline hardly exists. there are so many similarities to pushing myself physically and pushing myself spiritually. doing things that are good for my body and doing things that are good for my soul.

today: so breathtaking. the sun shining and the temperatures just right enough to feel like autumn is at our doorstep. so as i rode today, i longed to feel connected to this. instead i found myself with a whole lot of noise. these thoughts that just creep into my tiny little brain and steal me from enjoying what i am doing. from being present. i wonder how much i miss because i can't seem to quiet my rambling thoughts.

and so i concentrated. i concentrated on the things i wanted to be thinking about. the way the light hits the tops of the trees. the road beneath my feet. the green of this earth - it won't be green for much longer. i thought about how i came to meet my creator. to be present and stay awhile in that presence.

then, there it was. a collaboration of silencing noise, of pushing myself and realizing how unbelievably amazing it feels to be alive. buzzing with electricity and feeling the blood inside of my fingertips. it was just magic. everything feeling the way it's intended to be. having direction and purpose. enjoying this beautiful place. laughing and crying and being created for love.

i just love that. these are the moments for me when everything, everything makes sense.